my_k0nstantinex

the trials over, shit for brains. brian ross has got to die.

Sat, 27 Nov 2004 15:23:01 GMT

mmk well i haven't posted anything but surveys in a really long time .. so i'm gonna fill you in on what's been going on. starting on uh, thursday.

thursday .. was turkeyday. like, 15 people were here. and, we ate turkey. ethan "are you having an orgasm with your cake?" and uh, me & my daddy & my uncle & my cousin played guitar for awhile.. it was freaking fun. my uncle taught me how to play i wanna be sedated, and some clapton song, and meðan played bob marley kind of like the dueling banjo thing, i dunno how to explain it, it was fun (i kicked his ass cause he can't play this one part). THEN i got to feed baby RJ, and change him, and read to him, and put him to sleep, it was soo fun. so now, i'm his new babysitter! =) then, we all played this dvd game, about movies, and you have to call out whatever movie it is, it was fun, my team won.

friday .. erik came & picked me up at like 1130, and we went to his house & hung out until like 230, because he had practice at 3. Then, i forgot what i did.. uhh.. yeah.

saturday .. is today! and i'm going to erik's once he gets home from football practice, which will be at like 1 or something. and then tonight i dunno i wanna go to the mall & probably sleeping over kate's or she's coming hurr.. sooo.. good times.

i love erik wiff all of my <3 xinfinitelikewhhhatt

bye bitches ..

&hearts, yOur kOnstantiine xx

cross mah <3, hope to die, i swear i wont say what happened that night..

Wed, 17 Nov 2004 01:11:24 GMT

Basics
1. First Name: caitlin [caity, caites, caituhms, those are good names]
2. Hair Color: blooonde. you have to pronounce that like a scottish person would. it sounds a little like balooon-ed.
3. Middle Name: quinn
4. Hair Style: straight, nd like halfway down my back [gaah too long for me]
5. Eye Color: blue =]
6. Height: 5'1 and a half
8. Birthday: april 23 [one day before gabby's!]
9. Zodiac Sign: taurus .. hiss .. i mean uh, snort? ..
10. Nationality: irish bitches [nd french canadian] :o)
11. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: yesssh, erikuhms <3
12. Do you have a crush?: no. i hate erik. gross.

Favorites
1. Favorite Animal: my kittens!!
2. Favorite Sport: basketball o course =]
3. Favorite Color(s): green & black & pink & white
4. Favorite Friend(s): alla my friends..durh! [ erik, kates, tommykins, shay, gabby, druggie, mark, dylan<3, kenamababes, zakky, cj =],dan, schilke, jeremy, shaina..sherreeree .. all those people!
6. Favorite Song(s): 'thats so you' & 'existentialism on prom night' & 'konstantine' & 'choke on this' & lots more!
7. Favorite Movie Quote: 'if you have sex, you will get pregnant.. nd DIE' - mean girls
8. Favorite Store: american eagle, hollister, pac sun, im such a prep =]
9. Favorite Feeling: hypper nd happy nd loved
10. Favorite Shoe: my dcs =]
11. Favorite Scent: vanilla <333
12. Do You Wear Make-Up?: yep i do.. eyeliner & lipgloss, bitches
13. Which is more important, personality or looks?: looks are more important in who im gonna date. im not gonna lie. but if he doesnt have a good personality it wont work out whether he's ugly or hot.
14. What kind of personality do you like in a guy/girl?: somebody who gives me lots of attention =] .. and makes me laugh. nd makes me feel important & loved. just erik. he's perfect. you're jealous, whores.
15. Do you move fast or slow in a relationship?: sexually? i don't know what youre talking about!
16. What is your idea of the perfect guy/girl?: erik ..
17. Would you ever ask someone out?: no. only erik. if we broke up or something [cha right]
18. Do you prefer blondes or brunettes?: blondes =]

Love, Life & Friends
1. What is the first thing you notice about someone?: their clothes nd what they're doing [ smoking pot .. turn off .. lol ] & then their face.
2. When's the last time you cried?: uhh .. no.
3. What do you want to be when you grow up?: a teacher .. my daddy says i cant/wont. fruuucker.
4. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?: nope.
5. How far have you gotten?: pssssh. no. but im a virgin =] WHORES.
6. Do you like someone right now?: yupp.
7. Do they know?: lol yesshh..
8. Do you have a best friend?: KATHLEEN FREAKiNG RiDiNG <33 is my twin

Last time you...
1. Had a serious talk?: uhhmm .. i dunno.
2. Hugged someone?: today. [erikuhms]
3. Gotten along well with your parents?: everrrrday.
4. Fought with a friend?: i dunno.. haven't done that in a long time

In the last month have/did you...
1. Drink?: yep
2. Smoke?: nunca
3. Drugs?: gross

4. Have Sex?: HAH.no.
5. Made Out?: yeppp =]
6. Go on a date?: uhh .. i dunno?
8. Go to the mall?: yep
9. Eaten an entire box of Oreos?: mm i want some now
10. Eaten sushi?: nopers.
11. Been on stage?: yepp.
12. Been dumped?: nope.
13: Had someone unfaithful to you?: hope not..
14. Watched The Smurfs?: nope is that still on?!
15. Hiked a mountain?: i thought it said had a mountain .. like,no, i dont have a mountain. silly. pants.
16. Made homemade cookies?: not homemade, but i made them at home.
17. Been in love?: yessss =]

More stuff.
1. Are you popular?: noo, i wouldnt say that.
2. Are you pretty?: sometimes =] (( i think that answer gabby, youre always GORGEOUS!! ))

where did number three go?!?!

4. What is your favorite word to say: uhh .. that's hot.
5. What is your favorite phrase to say?: that's hot.
6.what are you doing right now?: typppping ..
7. What song are you listening to?: bad days -- something corporate
8. What are you wearing?: pink pajama pants nd erik's sweatshirt =]

Preferences
1. Cold or hot?: cold .. im always hot. besides when im cold.
2. Lace or satin?: lace underwear is hott .. nd satin sheets = hot sex. slippery sex. on satin sheets. yumm.
3. Blue or Red?: red.
4. New or old?: new..
5. Rain or snow?: rain=love
6. Give or receive?: receive. lol.. im selfish.
7. Wool or cotton?: wool is warmer.
8. Rose or Daisy?: white roses = looove <3
9. Private school or public school?: public.
10. Chocolate milk or plain milk?: plain, thanks.
11. Celsius or Fahrenheit?: fahrenheit 911 bitches.
12. Spring or Fall?: spring.
13. Inny or outty?: innie!!
14. Now or then?: right NOW.
15. How many fingers am I holding up?: 15.
16. Scent?: vanilla <3
17. English or Math?: english! durh! dummies..
18. Bath or shower?: bubble baths are good =]
19. Bedtime phrase?: i love you baby sweet dreams [ -- erikuhms <3 ]
20. Self-stick or lick?: lick .. me. HARd. beene. haa. becky.
21. Cursive or print?: thanks.
22. Do you like surprises?: yess i want one!
23. Paranoid or Cautious?: okayy .. i guess both? depending on what it is.
24. Heights or Crowds?: heights. are good ?;
25. Half-full or half-empty?: half-empty
26. Top or bottom?: bottom? top? bottom? top? bottom?
27. do you/Would you dye your hair?: yess i luurve dying my hair. it's dying. from my dying.
28. Speeding or running red lights?: speeeeeeeed.
29. Gold or silver?: silver. thanks.
30. Bad habits?: not keeping thoughts to myself, paranoid about certain things. TOO LOUD!
31. Piercing?: no.
32. Erogenous Zone(s)?: hmm...i wonder.
33. "Maybe" or "Mebbe?": maaaaybee..
35. What do you wish you'd done?: loooots. of stuff. never being friends with some people. punching some people in the face.
36. Fetish?: uhm.. listening to people eat salad. merrf.. im weird.
37. Do you have one of THOSE voices?: no?
38. Jammies or naked?: for what?
39. Neurotic or psychotic?: neurotic.
40. Do you talk to yourself?: yaa .. all the time .. lol

past
first grade teacher's name: Mrs. Conrod
last word you said: no.
last song you sang: bad days & ruthless [ something corporate ]
what's in your CD player: green day

what color socks are you wearing: pink soft fuzzy ones..i love em.
what's under your bed: babies.
what time did you wake up today: 6Oclock
where do you want to go: erik's house .. i just wanna lay in his arms forever.
what is your career going to be: a. teeecha.
where are you going to live: wherever i find myself..
how many kids do you want: 3 or 4.
what kind of car will you have: i dunno.. a cute one.

current mood: happppy as a bunnie...
current music: forget december [something corporate] lots of soco today ..
current taste: saliva.. mmmm..mm.mm.mmm.
current hair: back in a messy bun.
current smell:
current longing: cookies or m&ms or dark chocolate. mmm.
current desktop picture: i dont remember .. i dont feel like using
current favorite artist: the rocket summer i believe
current color of toenails: white. nd shiny.
current worry: that i wont get a good grade on my personal narrative paper
current crush: urrrik.
current hate: whores. them. i hate them.
one thing you're grateful for today? erik being the best in the world nd loving me always =]

Fourteen interests that you enjoy or are good at:
01]- Basketball
02]- Bass
03]- Singing
04]- Being erik's girlfriend..lol
05]- Writing [you can make a 4 leaf clover with your tongue gabby holy crap!]
06]- Talk..ing.
07]- Eating. alot.
08]- Im good at getting trouble in geometry everyday.lol.
09]- LALALALALLALA. my konnnstantine. oh god i miss yooou.
10]- Hiccuping.. i cant stop!
11]- Eating bacon.
12]- Tickling erik.
13]- Being ticklish.
14]- Erik. i enjoy erik. im good at him.

Thirteen random things you like:
01]- The sound people make when they eat salad.
02]- Erik's smile when one side of his mouth goes up.
03]- Erik's smile.
04]- Erik.
05]- How ticklish erik is. almost as bad as me.
06]- Erik's voice when it gets all high & girly when I tickle him nd he says stop.
07]- mmk no more erik, obsessed girl.
08]- 'people in ugaunda dont make fun of each other.'
09]- english class

10]- my blue eyes.. i like blue eyes.
11]- the guy in therocketsummer's voice. it's hot.
12]- tom's dogs.
13]- erik.

Twelve movies that you like watching: (no spec. order)
01]- Pirates of the Carribean
02]- Mean Girls
03]- Finding Nemo.
04]- Secret Window.
05]- Farhenheit 911.
06]- The Breakfast Club.
07]- Euro Trip.
08]- Dumb & Dumber
09]- Donnie Darko.
10]- Texas Chainsaw Massacre
11]-
12]-

Eleven good bands/artists:
01]- The Rocket Summer
02]- Green Day
03]- Something Corporate
04]- Letter Kills
05]- My Chemical Romance.
06]- Hellogoodbye

07]- Underoath
08]- a7x

09]- BRAND NEW
10]- From Autumn to Ashes
11]- Saves the Day.

Ten things about you [physically]:
01]- blue eyes
02]- on the thin side =/
03]- blonde hair
04]- braces!! gaahhh =[
05]- a freckle right above my lip nd a weird beauty mark between my eyebrows kind of
06]- shortttttness
07]- i have .. legs.
08]- paleness.
09]- lips.
10]- my tongue. is. there.

Nine CLOSE friends: (in no spec. order)
01]- Kate
02]- Tom
03]- Mark
04]- Joshie
05]- Dylan
06]- Erik
07]- Druggiemababe
08]- Ken <3
09]- I FORGOT SHAY STUPID ME

Eight favorite foods/drinks:
01]- Dark chocolate.
02]- Chocolate Chip CoOkies.
03]- Vanilla Frosting
04]- Whipped cream.
05]- M&Ms!
06]- Mac&Cheese
07]- Steak
08]- La-zon-ya

Seven things you wear daily:
01]- Eyeliner & Mascara
02]- Underwear
03]- Shirt
04]- Pants or skirt
05]- my BRACES. damnit.
06]- Lipgloss.
07]- my cross

Six things that annoy you:
01]- Stupid people
02]- Whores
03]- Stupid whores.
04]- GIRLS.
05]- Perverted boys that cant stick with one girl.
06]- [sorry for disturbing you on the bus when youre listening to music gabby!! lol] uhhh .. the bus. sucks. when it doesnt pick me up!!

Five things you touch everyday:
01]- Erik
02]- Myself
03]- My bed.
04]- My kittens.
05]- You.. muahahaha.

Four shows you watch daily (if not daily, a few times a week):
01]- Boiling Points.
02]- Mad Tv

03]- The Real World
04]- YOU..

Three songs that you can listen to over and over again:
01]- Konstantine -- Something Corporate
02]- Walking in Memphis -- Lonestar
03]- Okay I believe you but my tommy gun dont -- Brand New

Two celebrities/bands that you met:
01]-no.
02]- sorry.

One Place you'd like to visit:
01]- Freemont California BITCHES!

booooredd .. i hate stupid fake ugly whores. much.

Tue, 16 Nov 2004 22:38:48 GMT

x\\ spell your name backwards: niltiac , ytiac
x\\ have you ever had a song written about you: yep =/
x\\ what song makes you cry: "that's so you"[therocketsummer][made me randomly burst into tears] nd "konstantine"[somethingcorporate] and "overandover"[nelly]

x\\ what song makes you happy: "shes my baby"[therocketsummer] reminds me of erik =]
x\\ what's your all time fav. song?: KONSTANTiNE .. of course
x\\ what do you listen to before you go to sleep: the rocket summer, or something corporate, slow songs like that.
x\\ height: 5`1 AND a half.
x\\ hair color: i'm a fake blondie.
x\\ piercings: nope. but im getting my tongue peirced hopefully ;o)
x\\ tattoos: not yet, bitches. one more year !!

Right Now . . .
x\\ what color pants are you wearing: pink [ yep im in my pjs at 5.. lol ]
x\\ what song are you listening to: Lazy Boy - Underwear Goes Inside The Pants [gooodfuckingsongdownloaditbitches]
x\\ what taste is in your mouth?: uhh .. saliva?
x\\ whats the weather like?: too coooold!
x\\ how are you?: great :o)
x\\ get motion sickness?: sometimes..
x\\ have a bad habit?: stomping up stairs.. hah[thanks for reminding me everyday erik!]
x\\ get along with your parents?: yessh i do
x\\ boyfriend: only the best boyfriend in the whole world =]
x\\ have a current crush: coughdracomalfoycough
x\\ have a big regret: uhh .. not really. not a big one.

Favorite . . .
x\\ tv show: boiling points & viva la bam & anything on comedy central =]
x\\ conditioner: herbal ecesensces. however you spell that .. mmk
x\\ book: the catcher in the rye, the perks of being a wallflower, on writing, madame bovary. those are some goood books, whores. and i very much enjoyed the odyssey .. lol
x\\ non alchohol drink: lemonade
x\\ alchohol drink: =x .. how would iknow about that ?
x\\ things to do on the weekend: play basketball. play bass. sleeep. [nd go to erik's house]

Have You Ever . . .
x\\ broken the law: yeppers
x\\ ran away from home: no
x\\ snuck out of the house: not my house, but other people's houses.. cough.
x\\ ever gone skinny dipping: yah
x\\ made a prank phone call: hahaha.. grant[kate]
x\\ tipped over a portapotty: no,sadly.
x\\ use your parents credit card: nope
x\\ skipped school before: yah
x\\ fell asleep in the shower/bath: nope..lol
x\\ been in a school play: chaa
x\\ had a boyfriend: lol ..
x\\ had children: no
x\\ been in love: yes :o)
x\\ have a hard time getting over someone: yea, one person.
x\\ been hurt?: yah
x\\ gone out with someone you only knew for 3 days: no .. lol

Random . . .
x\\ have a job: no
x\\ your cd player has what in it right now: green day
x\\ if you were a crayon, what color would you be?: periwinkle =] .. thats such a pretty name..i think i should name my daughter that.
x\\ what makes you happy?: erik, kate, music, joshuavera, writing, basketball
x\\ the next CD you're going to buy: dunno ..

When/What Was the Last . . .
x\\ you got a real letter: jeesh uhh .. a couple months ago from my sister =]
x\\ got an email: every day
x\\ thing you purchased: food at lunch
x\\ Tv program you watched: battle for ozzfest last night .. muaha
x\\ movie you saw in the theaters: the grudge wiff a million people on friday
x\\ kissed: erik.. today after school =x
x\\ hugged: erik, or no, tom, & druggie perhaps.. those people.
x\\ song heard: "does he love you" [rilokiley] =[
x\\ place you were [ besides home ]: the car..lol
x\\ phonecall: erik. no, my mom just kidding.
x\\ you were depressed: 2 months ago..
x\\ you were in the hospital: uhh.. dont know

When/What Comes to Mind When You Hear . . .
x\\ car: i wanna drive =[ one more year
x\\ murder: kathleen's house cause we always watch scary movies there.
x\\ cape: cod..mini golfing..scotty doesnt know!! muaha kate
x\\ penis: erik ..lol
x\\ cell: phone. mine's broken. damnit.
x\\ shoe: i want some cute ones =]
x\\ fun: kate
x\\ crush: erik
x\\ music: beeeautiful. im gonna go play guitar.
x\\ chalk: cocaine? lol .. wtf does chalk have to do with anything?

booooredd .. i hate stupid fake ugly whores. much.

Tue, 16 Nov 2004 22:38:38 GMT

i waste all my time just thinking of you ..

Wed, 03 Nov 2004 00:59:48 GMT

INSTRUCTIONS:

1. Copy this whole list into your journal.

2. Bold the things that are true about you.

3. Whatever you don’t bold is false.

01. I miss somebody right now.

02. I don’t watch much TV these days

03. I love olives

04. I love sleeping

05. I own lots of books

06. I wear glasses or contact lenses

07. I love to play video games

08. I’ve tried marijuana

09. I’ve watched porn movies

10. I have been in a threesome

11. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship

12. I believe honesty is usually the best policy

13. I have acne free skin (for the most part)

14. I like and respect Al Sharpton

15. I curse frequently

16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year

17. I have a hobby

18. I’ve been told I: (women) have an applebottom, (men) am packing.

19. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me

20. I’m really, really smart (well.. my mom says so..)

21. I’ve never broken someone’s bones (as far as I know..?)

22. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal

23. I hate the rain

24. I’m paranoid at times

25. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free

26. I need money right now!

27. I love Sushi

28. I talk really, really fast

29. I have fresh breath in the morning

30. I have semi-long hair

31. I have lost money in Las Vegas

32. I have at least one brother and/or one sister

33. I was born in a country outside of the U.S.

34. I shave my legs (females) or face (males) on a regular basis

35. I have a twin (kates!)

36. I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past

37. I couldn’t survive without Caller I.D.

38. I like the way that I look sometimes

39. I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months

40. I know how to cornrow

41. I am usually pessimistic

42. I have a lot of mood swings

43. I think prostitution should be legalized

44. I think Britney Spears is hot (not in a like, oh baby way, she's just pretty.)

45. I have cheated on a significant other in the past

46. I have a hidden talent

47. I’m always hyper no matter how much sugar I have

48. I think that I’m popular

49. I am currently single

50. I have kissed someone of the same sex

51. I enjoy talking on the phone

52. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants

53. I love to shop

54. I would rather shop than eat

55. I would classify myself as ghetto (that's hella wack,son i'm the damn queen of ghetto, gabby)

56. I’m bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders

57. I’m obsessed with my Xanga or Livejournal

58. I don’t hate anyone. I dislike them.

59. I’m a pretty good dancer

60. I don’t think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington

61. I’m completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother

62. I have a cell phone

63. I believe in God

64. I watch MTV on a daily basis

65. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months

66. I love drama

67. I have never been in a real relationship before

68. I’ve rejected someone before

69. I currently have a crush on someone (erik ^_^)

70. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life

71. I want to have children in the future

72. I have changed a diaper before

73. I’ve called the cops on a friend before

74. I bite my nails

75. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club

76. I’m not allergic to anything

77. I have a lot to learn

78. I have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger

79. I plan on seeing Ice Cube’s newest "Friday" movie

80. I am very shy around the opposite sex sometimes

81. I’m online 24/7, even as an away message (close, but no.)

82. I have at least 5 away messages saved

83. I have tried alcohol before

84. I have made a move on a friend’s significant other in the past

85. I own the "South Park" movie

86. I have avoided assignments at work to be on Xanga or Livejournal

87. When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbor or chum (what is that? lol..)

88. I enjoy some country music

89. I would die for my best friends

90. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza

91. I watch soap operas whenever I can

92. I’m obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist

93. I have used my sexuality to advance my career

94. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all

95. I am a virgin

96. I know all the words to Slick Rick’s "Children’s Story"

97. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy

98. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it

99. I have dated a close friend’s ex

100. I have cut myself before

101. I am happy at this moment

mmkay, so bitches, i went to erik's house today. that's really all i did. then after i came home i fell asleep on the couch nd woked up at like 630 and came on nd talked to erik. lol. nd other people too. AND the best thing ever happened in the car on the way home from erik's. my daddy called nd asked my mom what color bass i wanted. which means he's getting me it!!! ahhhh i'm having the best day ever. muahahah. sooo.. today was a good day off. nd then tomorrow is a half day. nd i'm going to erik's again. i just can't get enough of him. ( your brutha is fuuunie .. lol ) that's all bitches, have a good night. if bush wins tonight, there is no more hope for the world. me and kate will be moving to canada. ;o)

[ you ] . are . stupid. fall off a cliff. thank you very much, son. i hate you.

i love you erikuhms <3 he's all mine, whores.

l <3 v e ; your k0nstantine

.. and i'm not imagining how you give me the shivers ..

my cutest song ever in the history of the world

Sat, 30 Oct 2004 03:00:36 GMT

Tell her you think that she's cool.
Tell her why you think she's so cool.
Smell her.
Talk to her in movie theaters.
Pick her up and pretend you're going to throw her in a river. She'll scream and fight you but secretly, she'll love it.
Hold her hand and skip.
Hold her hand and run.
Just hold her hand.
Pick her flowers out of other people's gardens and give them to her.
Tell her she looks pretty.
Introduce her to your friends as 'the coolest girl I know' and 'girlfriend'.
Sit in the park and talk to her.
Take her to libraries and playgrounds and train stations.
Tell her dirty jokes.
Tell her stupid jokes.
Talk about politics.
Write poems about her.
Just walk around with her.
Throw pebbles at her window at night. When she starts swearing at you, tell her you love her.
Take her to shows of bands she's never heard.
Hold her hand in the mosh pit.
Let her fall asleep in your arms.
Call her.
Call her back if she calls you.
Sing to her, no matter how bad you are.
Carve your names into a tree.
Get her mad, then kiss her.
Give her space if she needs it.
Push her on swings.
Stay up with her all night when she's sick.
Make up pet names for her, but cool ones, not sappy ones.
Teach her guitar.
Lend her your CDs.
Write on her.
Make her Mix-Tapes.
Write her letters.
If she asks you to go to a show with her, go, even if it means a 5 hour trip.
Take her to cool shops and let her take you to even cooler ones.
Listen to all the bands she mentions.
Don't tell her that her favorite bands suck.
When shes sad hang out with her or stay on the phone even if shes not saying anything.
Hang out with her whether shes sad or not.
When you find out that she used to be a teenybopper don't bag her about it.
Let her take all the photos of you she wants.
Look into her eyes.
Slow dance with her, even if the music is fast.
Kiss her in the rain.
When you fall in love with her, tell her.

awee i love this song soo much. nd i have no idea who it's by. lol.. but yeah. it's soooo cute. makes me think about my baby :o)

i love you erik, you're so amazing, just the way you make me feel. you make me sooo happy nd i would be so miserable without you. i'm so glad i met you nd i'm never ever going to lose you because you're so perfect for me! you're everyhing and all that matters to me and i know you feel exactly the same way. cause you tell me all the time. lol i love you sooo much i'm sooo lucky <3

i just said so about 15 times. ooh well .. i just love erik so much.

<3 .. your konstantine

.. oh i can't go on not loving you <3

Fri, 22 Oct 2004 02:35:21 GMT

today was hot sex. all over the place. repeatedly. except no. not so much. it would be 39779812918 x better if i went to erik's like i planned. cept i fell asleep for like 4 hours, which was crap. nd then by the time he called me woke me up i could have only gone over for like an hour anyways. soo that part sucked. because i loove spending time with him. but i'll be wiff him tomorrow nd saturday night which is gonna be great! ;o) i can't wait. even though i wish more than anything matt would stop being stupid. to kathleen. cause that pisses me off. but eehhh. i got all my homecoming stuff last night nd i love it. it's all perfect. hopefully no one has my dress. or else i'm gonna bust a cap. but i doubt it. holy jesus this song makes me cry. i get this horrible feeling in my stomach. it like, fits me so frucking perfectly. nd i can't even stop myself. even thoug it was so long ago. nd i hate her so much. i don't even care about her. it's just him. nd i know he loves me so much nd he knows it was a huge mistake nd he would never do anything like that to me ever again. it's just kinda like, if we're so meant to be, would that have even happened? ehh. just his voice like when he says "she's leaving" sets something off. nd it kills me. this song:

'cause it's all in my head ..

i think about it over and over

and i can't keep picturing you with him

and it hurts so bad

'cause it's all in my head

i think about it over and over

and i replay it over and over

and i can't take, i can't shake it .. noo

i can't wait to see you

want to see if you still got that look in your eyes

the one you had for me, before we said our goodbyes

and it's a shame that we gotta spend our time

being mad about the same things

over and over again

( about the same things )

over and over again

ooh, but i think she's leaving

ooh man, she's leaving

i don't know what else to do

( i can't go on not loving you )

'cause it's all in my head

and i think about it over and over again

i can't keep picturing with him

and it hurts so bad

'cause it's all in my head

i think about it over nd over again

i r e p l a y i t o v e r a n d o v e r

i can't take it, no i can't shake it, no

i remember the day you left

i remember the last breath you took right in front of me

when you said that you would leave

i was too damn stubborn to try to stop you or say anything

but i see it clearly now

and this choice i made keep playing in my head

over and over again

.. playing in my head ..

over and over again

i think she's leaving

ooh man, she's leaving

i don't know what else to do

[ i c a n ' t g o o n n o t l o v i n g y o u ]

. chorus .

( now that i've realized that i'm going down

from all this pain you've put me through

every time i close my eyes i like it down )

ooh i can't go on not loving you

wow, i'm a crazy kid. i like don't even think about it over nd over again. just this song as soon as i heard it, i was like, whoa. but i'm so in love with erik nd i mean it. not like, i love my boyfriend of 2 weeks! he means everything to me! he doesn't even know it! nothing will ever stop it! more like, he's my whole damn life, and i'm going to be with him forever. hmm well enough of that. lol. i needed to vent. <3

i love you erik; you're my whole world <3

x ;y0ur k 0 n s t a n t ii n e x3

.. let's just stay like this f o r e v e r ..

Wed, 20 Oct 2004 20:20:24 GMT

(( you're just jealous cause we're young and in love ))

mmm.. today was alright. mostly crap because i got a C on my mythology test. schilke beat me for the first time everr .. he got a B-. errr. but we're just gonna pretend that didn't happen. ya so, today was a half day. meaning every class was only an hour long ( score baby ) soo that was pretty good, but i didn't get to see erik too much because we didn't have lunch together. aweee :o( but that's okayyyy. i found out that gabby nd pat are going out. whoo hoo i'm happy for ya gabes!! ooh ya, nd erik came over last night. nd that was great fun. because. i love erik more than you could even begin to halfway imagine. i love feeling like this. it's so amazing guys. lol. okay i'm done. i'll just go rant to him about how much i love him. but uh, right now, i'm waiting for my mommy to get home nd take me nd kate to the mally because i need to go bra shopping!! yesss!! nd also, i need a purse, shoes, nd jewelry for homecoming. so i'll let ya know how that goes. THEN i have to do my homework nd make cookies for english class tomorrow. yummyyy.

do it do it do it do it do it do it do it DO IT

+ who are you?
+ are we friends?
+ when and how did we meet?
+ do you have a crush on me?
+ would you kiss me?
+ give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
+ describe me in one word.
+ what was your first impression?
+ do you still think that way about me now?
+ what reminds you of me?
+ if you could give me anything what would it be?
+ how well do you know me?
+ when's the last time you saw me?
+ ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
+ are you going to put this on your LiveJournal and see what I say about you?

" you can't compete with whores .. you just don't stand a chance "

" so this time, when you decide to talk shit, it'll be TRUE "

" i can't go anywhere thursday .. but i can go out friday " " .. according to your astrological calendar ? " .. muahaha

" damn whores, always mess everything up "

hahaha kate .. i love you . bffe chick . you're my other half :o)

erik; i love you more than anything <333

. y O u rr <3 k 0 n s t a n t ii n e ;

gangster like whaat

Tue, 19 Oct 2004 00:26:44 GMT

mkay thugs, this was my weekend

[ friday ] was a rawking day, if i do say so myself. which i do. say. so myself. english was the best class ever. since a third of the class played hookie, we just took our wordly wise test, read some our wordly wise stories, and talked the rest of class. it was very fun. we decided that thursday was universal cookie day. so we're all bringing in cookies nd having a cookie feast :o) then, we ended the class by singing row your boat in rounds 3 times. rawking. i don't remember much of what else happened on friday. seeing how it was 4 days ago. BUT i do remember going to erik's friday night. nd that was fun. of course. i love erik wiff all my heart <3 (( ps. matt i hate you, you suck, i hope you fall off a conviently placed cliff ))

[ saturday ] woke up early nd went to the providence place mall wiff kates, my best friend in the whole world. we got homecoming dressies at charlotte hussie, and i got pjs from victoria's secret and a buncha clothes from delias. oooh man good times .. i love you todd! pssh .. shannon nd jen were late, damn lesbians. escalators. that freaky staring guy. gooood times. i lava you chick.

[ sunday ] at a basketball game at east lyme high at 3. nd we lost. by like, 11 i think. it was close the whole game until the ending. definetly not one of my best games, but psssh. whaterver. i had fun. THEN my daddy took the whole family out to dinner. at the steak loft. which made my whole night because i LOVE that place. more than anything. AND we soo saw the same kid from last time. that walked by our table nd dropped all the glasses on the floor. nd then he got yelled at. great times. ( " he so just checked you out " " who ? " " shut up he's right behind you " " he's right behind me checking me out ? " " shut up!! " " ooh .. you said he just checked me out ? " .. we are a very blonde family. i'm the worst. but i must have gotten it somewhere .. ) am i being burgalered ?!?! muahaha. my family is fuuuun.

[ today, which is monday, go figure ] uhhmm .. today was okay. besides my mom being gaaaay. but whaterver. i got over it.

that's all. i kind of got bored and forgot what i was gonna talk about. lol. stupid erik distracting me. daayyum. anywhore, me nd sherree are gangsturrs. gotta keep it real, son.

ps. erik i love you forever nd ever <33

<3 ;your k0nstantine

.. i love you more than i did when you were mine ..

Wed, 13 Oct 2004 22:41:27 GMT

hmm.. okay well last night was the funniest thing i've ever seen in my life. shaina, sarah, gabby, dylan, dan, pat, zak, yall know what i'm talking about. i don't wanna say anything but that was the shit. i laughed for like an hour. LIKE an hour. but probably, now that i think about it, more like, 7 hours. or 8. yeah. toooday .. i had a good day. lots of homework. i like homework. yaa, i'm a nerd, you love it. matt is WHORE. nd i hate him. lol. and he should stop making things up .. lol. pssha .. anyways, this is a song. for my dearly beloved erik pendleton. that i am madly in love with. this cd makes me cry everytime. EVERYTIME. fo r3eA3lLllL. i wish i could just like, type every song on here. cause they're so pretty/sad/good/perfect.

this is a slow/sad song. but it's soo cute. i like having someone i can listen to sappy songs and think about :o)

can you sleep as the sound hits your ears? one at a time

unspoken ballads, here, unabridged for so many years ..

that i should stare at receivers, to receive her .. isn't fair

don't worry .. i'll catch you

don't worry .. i'll catch you

don't ever worry

y o u r a r m s i n m i n e , a n y t i m e.

i wouldn't trade anything.. you're still my everything.

to my surprise, before my eyes, you arrive

still breaking old habits .. you pulled the world over me

i can see everything .. everything

remembering ..

don't worry .. i'll catch you

don't worry .. i'll catch you

don't ever worry

no need for reminding .. you're all that matters to me.

i keep thinking my shoe is my kitty ..

Tue, 12 Oct 2004 23:24:37 GMT

uhm.. let's see. what did i do today?

kaay first i woke up really late, and so i looked like crraaap today. then i almost missed my bus, but it was like 10 minutes late anyways, so i didn't. err gabby our bus driver makes me soo mad. if she came just like FIVE minutes earlier, we could actually make the first bell. lOl. but anyways. then i went to my locker, which of course was waaay too crowded seeing how i'm surrounded by josh nd connor nd other kid..nd me nd connor always take like an hour at our lockers because we are some slow kids. theeen, i walked around a bit nd found tom nd dylan, and kate too. then erik came out, nd so i hung out wiff him for a little bit. and told david i saw him walking on rt 12 in a dress. but, it turns out, it wasn't a dress. it was a sweatshirt .. pfftt, it was a dress. but theeeen .. i went to chorus nd this is what happened.

chorus // mrs. wp wasnt back (( thaaank gaahhd )) but we had the guy we had last week, nd he's 10x better than her. cept i was waaay tired, so i didn't sing too much. nd when it was my group's turn to sing. i just kind of, didn't. which isn't like me but i wasn't in a good mood .. so we looked like losers. but that's alriight.

geometry // kate left early becaus she had an orthodonist appointment .. nd so i was stuck with matt. lol. cept i didn't talk to people i usually do (( matt nd dylan nd kate )) because i was doing my english homework.. lol. which matt nd yitzak (( ? )) SO didn't help at all with.

english // english is always good. because i love english. nd ms olsen. aaaand before class i got to see erik. so that was good. even though i made him late to class (( like always )) nd i was late too.. but i never get in trouble, go figure.

lunch // booooring. i wasn't hungry so i didn't eat anything, and kathleen wasn't there so i was like, dead. me nd dylan nd druggie sat with dan nd steve nd them boyses, but they're really messy, so that wasn't good. BUT erik came nd sat with us. sooo i was happy. because he makes me happy. like whoa.

spanish // mmm .. hung out with erik before spanish. made him late for woods. like alllways. lol. but that's okay. in spanish i got a stupid 93 on my test. which is such crap. because i got like 3 verbs wrong. so now i have like, an A-. so that ruined my day. for awhile. cause then i got to go home nd get scolded about it.. which is ALWAYS fun.

bus // went to toooooooommie's house. because i lawff tom. tomtom. tommykins. tommiewommie. tomathan. but then, i couldn't stay too long because his mom had to leave. nd he can't be home wiff girlies alone. but i stayed for awhile after she left anyways. lol. nd we hung out in his room, played his guitar (( and his 3 stringed bass .. lol )), grrrreat fun.

uuhhmm .. so ya, then i came home. nd had some fun talking to people. shaina, i wish i could post all our conversations on here, but i'm not that meann .. we're too funny. " but .. i like my hand " arr, me too. damnit.

xbella O3: yo fa sho
xbella O3: .. biatch
xbella O3: [ i thought that added a nice gangster touch :-) ]

(( loren is sucha gangsterr )) ((( and she soo sees my mom at the store the one time i don't go with her. what a lot of crap that is )))

maan how do these things end up so freakin long? anyways, hope ya had fun reading that .. ha. comment, biatches.

caity <3s her erik

;y0ur k0nstantine <3

ps ( kate -- yo yo yo we gawtaz a partay in da howsz .. yeyah . show meh whuht yo werkin wit )

haha, great song ..

Sun, 03 Oct 2004 00:04:14 GMT

(( admit it _ say anything .. download it bitches ))

ADMIT IT!

despite your pseudo-bohemian appearance that vaguely set your doctrine of beliefs,

you know nothing of art or sex that you couldn't read in any trendy new york underground fashion magazine ..

proto-typical non-conformist

you are a vacuous soldier of the thrift store gastapo.

you adhere to a set of standards and tastes that appear to be determined by an unseen panel of hipster judges

-BULLSHIT-

giving your thumbs up and thumbs down to incoming and outgoing trends and styles of music and art

go analog baby, you're so post-modern

you're diving face forward into an antiquated past, it's disgusting!

it's offensive!

dont stick your nose in it!

yeah, what do you have to say for yourself?

You spend your time sitting in circles with your friends, partipicating to each other,

forever competing for that one moment of self agrandizing glory in which you hog the intellectual spotlight,

holding dominion over the entire SHALLOW....POINTLESS...conversation.

oh we're not worthy.

when you walk by a group of quote-unquote normal people you chuckle to yourself,

patting yourself on the back as you scoff.

it's the same superority complex shared by the high school jocks who made your life a living hell,

makes you a slave to the competitive capitalist dogma you spend every moment of your waking life BITCHING about!

yeah, what do you have to say for yourself?

you're free to whine.

it will not get you far.

i do just fine, my car and my guitar.

i'm proud of my life and the things that I have done,

proud of myself and the loner I've become.

you are a FAKER!

you are a FRAUD!

you're living a LIE!

you don't impress me!

you don't intimidate me!

ADMIT IT!

haha, this song is too perfect. <33

i love you erik, nd your big butt :o)

i wanna hear you scream you like me better on my knees

Sat, 02 Oct 2004 20:54:54 GMT

it's the way, that he makes you feel ..

it's the way, that he kisses you ..

it's the way, that he makes you fall in love ..

i love erik; to an unhealthy extent ;o)

i ' wuv ' you sweetie soooo much

comment people ..

Sat, 02 Oct 2004 03:45:55 GMT

comment guys. right now. or we're not friends anymore. clear ?

you are my only .. my only one

Sat, 02 Oct 2004 02:59:49 GMT

sooo .. tonight was purdy good. went to the football game like the rest of the planet. i hung out with the usual posse (( kate, ken, dylan, druggie [ for a liddle while, i dont like him too much ], shaina, gabes, nd lots of other people but most importantly erik )) nd that was fun .. cept i kept hearing things in the beginning which was kind of annoying cause i keep getting two different stories. which sucks. but i trust some people over other people, and so i don't care what people say. cause i'm happy nd no one's gonna change that. kayy ? ya hurrd ? anywho, then i came home nd now i'm home. and i need to talk to erik, who is idle cause he's with alexx schlongski. having some fun with him. lol. maybe i'll update laturr if anything exciting happens or something ..

(( okay, i believe but my tommy gun don't _ brand new ))

i am heaven sent
dont . you . dare . forget
i am all you've ever wanted
what all the other boys all promised
sorry that i told
i just needed you to know
i think in decimals nd dollars
i am the cause of all your problems
shelter from cold
we are never alone
cordinate brain and mouth
then ask me what it's like to have myself so figured out
i wish i knew

i hope this song starts a craze
the kind of song that ignites the air waves
the kind of song that makes people glad to be where they are
with whoever they're there with
this is war
every line is about who i don't wanna write about anymore
i hope you come down with something they can't diagnose
don't have the cure for
holding onto your grudge
oh it's so hard to have someone to love
keeping quiet is hard
cause you can't keep a secret if it never was a secret to start
atleast pretend you didn't wanna get caught ..

we're concentrating on falling apart
we were contenders, we're throwing a fight
i just wanna believe, i just wanna believe, i just wanna believe ..
in us

we're so c-c-c-c-controversial
we are entirely smooth
we admit to the truth
we are the best at what we do
and these are the words you wish you wrote down
this is the way you wish your voice sounds
handsome and smart
oh my tongues the only muscle on my body that works harder than my heart
and it's all from watching tv
and speeding up my breathing
wouldn't stop if i could
oh it hurts to be this good
you're holding onto your grudge
oh it hurts to always have to be honest with the one that you love
ohh .. so let it go

we're concentrating on falling apart
we were contenders, we're throwing a fight
i just wanna believe, i just wanna believe, i just wanna believe

in us ..

this is the craze only we can bestow
this is the price you pay for loss of control
this is the break in the bend
this is the closest we've come
this is the reason you've alone
this is the reason you're gone ..

i just wanna believe in us

did you know i miss you .. oh god i miss you

Fri, 01 Oct 2004 17:56:04 GMT

hey guys .. wanna know what i did today? of course you do ..

so first, i stayed home from school for a couple of reasons. i didn't do any of my homework last night or study for my test in english or take a shower or any of that fun stuff. so going would be kind of pointless. also, i was in a horrible mood nd i don't even know what i'm gonna do. like, about stuff. but anyways, i went to the mall with my sister at like 10 and we payed her bills nd went shopping! whoo. then i felt so much better until we got in the car nd started listening to music, because everything reminds me of him. i'm pretty pathetic... lol. but that's okay. then we went to her storage place nd payed her bills there, and then we came home. then .. i played with my kittens nd stuff till my mom left. so right now it's 1:30 and i'm all out of stuff to do. and it sucks. also, i've decided (( again )) that i'm not gonna go out with anyone. because there's only one guy for me. and yea. thanks everybody for trying to cheer me up [ kate, ken, matt, dylan, loren, josh " i'll be your boyfriend for a day .. ", david .. nd everybody else, i love you guys ] soo yea right now i'm deciding what i'm gonna do tonight. i was gonna go to the football game with becky nd kate but now i don't really know if i want to. either way i'll probably end up at kate's house. like always.

(( my konstantine ))

i can't imagine all the people that you know

and the places that you go when the lights are turned down low

and i don't understand all the things you've seen

but i'm slipping in between you and your big dreams

it's always you .. in my big dreams

and you tell me that it's over

wake up lying in a patch of four leaf clover

and you're restless and i'm naked

you got to get out, you can't stand to see me shaking

no, could you let me go? i didn't think so ..

and you don't want to be here in the future

so you say the present's just a pleasant interuption to the past

and you don't want to look much closer

cause you're afraid to find out all this hope you had sent into the sky

had crashed, and it did ..

because of me

and then you bring me home

afraid to find out that you're alone

and i'm sleeping in your living room

we don't have much room .. to live

and i have these dreams

in them i learn to play guitar,

maybe cross the country .. become a rock star

and there was hope in me that i could take you there

but damnit you're so young

well i don't think i care

and if i hurt you, then i'm sorry

please don't think that this was easy ..

and then you'd bring me home

cause we both know what it's like to be alone

and i'm dreaming in your living room

we don't have much room .. to live

and konstantine is walking down the stairs

doesn't she look good standing in her underwear

and i was thinking, i was thinking

but we've been drinking and it doesnt get me anywhere

my konstantine came walking down the stairs

and all that i could do was touch her long blonde hair

and i've been thinking, but it hurts me thinking

that these nights when we were drinking

no, they never got us anywhere, no

this is because i can spell konfusion with a k

and i can like it

this is to dying in another's arms and why i had to try it

it's to jimmy eat world, and those nights in my car

when the first star you see might not be a star

i'm not your .. star

isn't that what you said ?

what you thought this song meant ..

and this is what it takes just to lay with my mistakes

and live with what i did to you, all the hell i put you through

i always catch the clock, it's 11:11

and now you want to talk ..

it's not hard to dream, you'll always be my konstantine

my konstantine .. they'll never hurt you like i do

no, they'll never hurt you like i do

no, no, no no no no no

this is to a girl who into my head

with all the pretty things she did

hey, you know, you keep my up in bed

this is to a girl who got into my head

with all the fucked up things i did

hey, maybe, baby, you could keep me up in bed

my konstantine, you spin around me like a dream

played out on this movie scene

and i said, did you know i miss you?

did you know i miss you ? x 45793074

i miss you .. oh god, i miss you

and then you bring me home

and we go to sleep, but this time not alone

and you kiss me in your living room

i know you miss me in your living room

cause these nights i think maybe that i miss you in my living room

we don't have much room ..

i said, does anybody need that room ?

cause we all need a little more room ..

to live

my konstantine